Step 1: Can you pinpoint the month or year in your life when you began significantly gaining weight? Think back to that time. Try to narrow the person or event that precipitated that weight gain to one to three key words.
For example, during my less-than-successful first marriage, I equated food with love to such an extent, I went up four pants sizes during that eight-year stretch. So for me, the key words of that time period was FOOD = LOVE.
Step 2: Transform that key word or words into a name of a person such as Foodloveia.
Step 3: Imagine that you are sitting down with this person. Have a little internal chat with this personality.
For example, I would say, “Foodlovia, I realize that your previous job or function in my life was to assist me in going up one pant size every year or two. I am aware that you did this to alert me to the fact that I had equated food to love. Instead of being my own best friend and finding other ways to feel fulfilled, I substituted my love of food for the love and companionship I felt I lacked during that marriage. I thank you for trying to be helpful to me. I apologize that I didn’t manage to catch on sooner to the message you were sent to give.”
Once you have expressed gratitude for this entity’s ability to do it job so successfully in your life and apologized for not recognizing the message it was trying to send sooner, you are ready for the next step. Really allow yourself to feel that gratitude throughout your entire being. You’ve heard the expression, “Don’t shoot the messenger.” This entity was simply a herald sent to give you a distinct message. It is not its fault that you did not hear the message before you weight gain seemed to spiral out of control. Make a sincere apology to this entity that you did not manage to hear the message until much later. Also acknowledge that it is NOT too late.
Step 4: Just like you don’t want to beat up on the messenger, you don’t want to beat up on yourself either. Be aware that you perhaps needed to travel this journey to more thoroughly appreciate the wisdom the messenger was trying to share. Imagine that part of yourself that did not hear the message until months or years after it was issued is a small child who did not know any better at the time. Allow yourself to feel a true sense of love for that inner child who is you. Feel that love permeate your entire being.
Step 5: From that state of inner stability, give your messenger a job promotion with new and revised job duties. The conversation can go something like this:
“Foodlovia, I have a job promotion to give you plus a new job title. Before today, your job title was Weight Gain Messenger. Your new job title is Weight Loss Manager. You will also be one of my partners. Your office shall me located in my heart as I truly feel love and appreciation for the great job I know you are going to do. Your duties consist of the following:
* Alert me to the time when I am eating due to feeling lonely or unloved. When that is the case, help me explore other options besides food that I can do to feel less lonely and more loved.
* Assist me in my goal to decrease my pant sizes in a wholesome and healthy way. Once I reach my weight loss goal, then help me maintain that lower pant size permanently.
* In the meantime, help me feel true love and appreciation for the beauty of my body every step along the way. When I view my Rubenesque body in the mirror, help me send waves of love and appreciation to that body that is the current view of me.
Step 6: Feel love and gratitude toward your new Weight Loss Manager. Have confidence that he or she will truly partner with you in this noble and achievable effort.
Step 7: Feel love and gratitude to this beautiful temple, this Rubenesque body, that houses you.
Step 8: Feel love and gratitude to God, to Jesus, or to whatever higher being or power that resonates in your life.
* It might be helpful to journal this entire conversation in a Blog or in a notebook or diary. Write down the date. Then on a weekly or monthly basis, update this Blog or notebook or diary with signs of progress you have made along the way.
* Rather than feel a sense of impatience that the weight loss does not happen right away, be aware that you did not gain all that weight in just one day either. Instead, celebrate any signs of progress. For example, perhaps you had a bad day at the office. Instead of coming home and eating comfort food, you found a great movie to watch, you read a book, or you took a hot, soothing bath or shower instead.
* Be prepared to give your inner Weight Loss Manager internal high fives along the way. The more you invest yourself in feeling gratitude and love in your partner in this effort, the more successful you will feel and be.